Focus People

Help.  This is our list of things that we considered vital to accomplish before trying to get pregnant; thus making us "move ready".  In other words, important shit.  

The stuff in black is the original list that was created back in August. It mostly reflects things associated with getting our house in shape to rent and reducing our clutter.  The current status of each line item is in red. 

• finish border around tree in front yard  (OMG, a task completed.)
• mulch yard (I started on this, but grossly underestimated the amount of mulch we'd need.  Haven't been back to the nursery to get more.)
• backyard - weed and add border to flower beds (I got the river rocks - all 600 pounds of them - and even laid out where they will go, but haven't actually dug anything.)
• find new home for slide/teeter totter  (Friends said that they would take it, but yet, they are still in our yard. Going to e-mail them right now.)
• repair BBQ (Ha!)
• Drip watering system for container plants (I toyed around with some 2 liter bottles and quickly lost interest.)
  
• new plantings for empty pots (We've got the potting soil, and I got the Japanese maple and flowering maple planted. Three pots to go.)  

Garage

• photograph items to sell
• place ads on Craigslist (Got the first round out, but there is still so much random junk that is just too overwhelming.)
  
• donations (Took a trunk load of stuff, but I'm sure that there is more.)
  
• make any repairs necessary
• reduce, reduce, reduce (I'm trying, I'm trying.)
  

Office

• shred old files (These are starting to accumulate, but that's about it.)
• consolidate bills into one filing system
• purchase filing cabinet  (Purchased and assembled by Wifey in 29 minutes. Yes, we timed it.)
  

Living Areas

• continue to purge
• bookshelf -cover books that we're keeping
  
• paint  (Wifey was inspired one morning and painted three walls on-the-fly. While a definite improvement, we still have to finish.)
  
  I feel like a loser.  We've fully completed two tasks.  Two!!!!  How are we going to move?  Are we trying to sabotage our efforts to move?  Are we not ready to make the necessary sacrifices to do this?  We're going on a week long road trip next week, should we stay home and clean instead?  How do you maintain focus in a life that you're trying to escape because it's, well, too complicated.  How do you motivate yourself to expend extra energy when you're so fucking depressed all the time?  When your job is a joy-drainer?  When you're constantly worried about money? 
  
  AAAAAAAGGH! Maybe we should be moving to Duluth instead of New York. 
  
  Please, someone tell me how to do this. 
  
  Sitting a little puddle of doubt and self-pity,
  Elsie
  

New York? Yes, please.

I don't know exactly when my love for the Bay Area began to wane. I've spent most of my adult life here and this area has seen me through some pretty big milestones - falling in love, getting married, establishing a career,having a kid and buying a house. It seems that most people, normal people, would, at this point in their lives, thank their lucky stars for the good fortune to have achieved those things, sit back and enjoy life a little.

Me? No way. I've got an itch that only New York can scratch and I'm giving myself six months to get there.

Of course, this move is much less about the change in physical location (although I dream in brownstone) and more about the possibility of creating a better, more authentic me that will be a better partner, mother and friend. The problem facing me, however, is that I've moved, changed jobs, etc...but never really unloaded my baggage. I've rearranged nicely several times, but it's like one of those bushes that grow more vigorously when you prune it - take it out by the roots or you're screwed.

This time I'm ready to do the work. Old habits, however, die hard and I am hoping that sharing my journey will help me reach my destination. (Note to self: Step one in journey to fulfillment - articulate what you want to achieve. Outloud. Yes, someone might actually hear you and hold you to it.) See, we're learning already!

Giddy with anticipation,
Elsie